That morning was when I impulsively decided I’d had enough with diapers and was going to potty train Zoe. She had already gone in the toilet a few times, but most of it was just good luck and/or timing.
I warn you ahead of time: the word “potty” occurs many times in this post. I tried to keep it as abstract as I could, but if you have a weak stomach, or if this just isn’t a topic you care to read about, all you need to read is the following sentence to get the gist of this post. Zoe is successfully learning how to use the bathroom.
I had heard and read that, for toilet-training, you needed a few days to just lock yourself at home, let the kiddo run diaper-less, and put your game face on. So, I tore off her diaper, set the potty chair in the middle of whatever room we were in, and constantly harrassed her about using the potty.
For three days, aside from a quick lunch with Aunt Heather, we didn’t go anywhere, and I carried that chair around like life support. By the end of the weekend, despite her having actually gone in the potty about half the time, I wasn’t sure we really got anywhere. I was exhausted. And frustrated. She had become resistant to going on the potty and would ask for her diaper to be put back on. Pee was one thing, but for awhile I thought we were going to make our kiddo constipated. Bribing, rewarding, whatever you want to call it, didn’t work. Refusing to up the ante, I thought that maybe we needed to table it for a later time.
Monday came, and she had school for two days. Both days she ran around in a diaper, and while the teachers would ask her if she needed to go, she’d say “no” and just do her business in the diaper. But at home at the end of the day, she was using the bathroom and was actually excited and proud about doing so (I had a little song and dance I did each time she went). So on Wednesday, I decided to skip running with the Running Mamas, and reinforce this new skill some more. She started off with an accident, but then was accident-free the whole rest of the day, as well as the next two days! I even asked her if she had to go when we were at Eddie’s house, and she said yep and did her business there (with me hanging her over the toilet for the first time).
After a week, I’ve noticed that if she has to go, she’ll go in the diaper if it’s on. I can usually preemptively strike by asking her about the time I think she probably needs to go (yes, she is like clockwork, and I keep time). And we try to get her out of bed and into the bathroom as quickly as we can after she wakes up. While most of our trips out of the house has been for only a couple hours at a time, she tends to stay dry, so I might just venture out with her just in training pants (and a few changes of clothes). But she is getting really good at telling us that she has to go with enough advance warning that we don’t have to keep our running shoes on.
Today was a great moment for all. We had lunch at with Aunt Heather. The four of us sat at a table somewhat near the bathroom. At the end of our lunch, I asked Zoe if she needed to go. She said yep, and off we went. Upon her success, she rushed out of the bathroom, and joyfully shouted, “I peed in the potty!” Everyone else naturally heard and I think they were genuinely happy for her. She then turned to a woman standing next to her and told her her news. A woman walking by her, also got a personally announcement. I honestly thought she expected everyone to clap with her, but I could only smile at how proud of herself she was.
I can’t even describe how immensely proud of her I am. Until we started this endeavor, I hadn’t really thought about how complicated of a skill it is for toddlers. I realized it wasn’t just one thing I was asking her to do. I was asking her to unlearn something she already knew how to do, recognize feelings in her body she never had to pay attention to, control muscles she never had to control, and then coordinate all of that with taking off her clothes and getting to the proper place at the proper time.
Tomorrow is the Bridge Pedal, so that will be a challenge. A few hours of bike riding with only a portajohns scattered here and there. No joke, we’re throwing the travel potty chair in the back of the Burley, but she’ll still have her diaper on…the training pants will have to wait until Monday…
